It’s Not So Bad

by gumilangra

Day 6: my foot still hurts…

“It seemed an advantage to be traveling alone. Our responses to the world are crucially molded by whom we are with, we temper our curiosity to fit in with the expectations of others… Being closely observed by a companion can inhibit us from observing others; we become taken up with adjusting ourselves to the companion’s questions and remarks, we have to make ourselves seem more normal than is good for our curiosity.” –Alain de Botton, The Art of Travel

Sun started to set when I was waiting for the train to the city. I started to worry about getting late to my destination and not being able to do the thing I had to do that evening.

There was no direct train to my destination station until at least an hour later, so I decided to take the earliest train that has arrived and then just move into other one at the transit station. It was about 15 minutes left the before ‘that place’ is closed when I arrived at the destination station. So, I just hopped into the only bus I saw right after I got out of the train station, which immediately departed after I sat down there. Everything seemed to be fine, I would make it in time, at least that’s what I thought. Until I realized that the bus turned left instead of go straight into my destination… well, yeah… I took a wrong bus. I reflexively asked to get the bus stopped, just got off the bus quickly, looked for the bus stop, and (more carefully) took the right bus.

I arrived about 5 minutes late. I’m quite lucky that a nice woman still wanted to serve me when all other staffs refused to do so because they are already closing. Aaand, my business there had been done. The end.

 mtf_iYEDW_152I’m the only passenger.

But then, my impulsive self argued that it would be a waste if I just go back home after spent more than an hour just to simply be there. So, I came with an idea of wandering around the city that evening. And suddenly, that evening was about walking in the city walks; taking buses—I took another wrong bus and had to turn around, again; going from a place to another place; being curious, being free, being me.

It’s been a while since the last time I spent some time just for myself, and I finally had another chance to go around, to walk at my own pace without worrying about anything else—especially person I’m with. I rewarded myself with a nice dinner, which followed by iced caramel latte to accompany me writing. My introverted self had it’s own moment to breath more freely. To not being taken up with adjusting myself for others questions and remarks. Such sense of freedom I’ve always been longing for.

mtf_iYEDW_151It’s just you, me, and words.

The ‘journey’ that evening ended by taking the midnight train home. I was waiting in the station’s platform while looked at how crowd left the platform gradually, just to intentionally take the last train that evening. To remind myself how I always love the quietness of the train and the station.

The next morning, my foot got hurt.  And still does until today. Guess I strained it too hard last night, but I was too excited to even realize it. The good thing about it, is that the pain I had whenever I try to walk is associated with such excitement I had the night before. So it kind of reminds me that it’s not so bad. It’s not so bad.